March 17th 2015

Dear Dexter,

Happy Birthday! Your daddy & I are so happy to meet you! We are also glad that we got to meet you on a Tuesday, this March has been so busy this was a good day so that daddy could be here with us. Also it's St. Patrick's Day!

You got me up early to meet you little man. Dad & I went to bed at seven am. Dad had decided it was time to start inducing labor so that he could be there for your birth and not working a wedding.  The night before I had gone for a long walk, ate some pineapple (because that's supposed to do something,) used the breast pump for a little bit & we had sex to get things going. Things did start going too.

At eight am contractions started coming. At first it just felt like I had to poop. So I was stuck in the bathroom, and the contractions really did clear out my bowels, while your dad was fast asleep. I couldn't leave the bathroom because of the pain and moving bowels for what felt like forever. There was a small wall next to the toilet I was slapping and banging against trying to make enough noise to wake your dad up. I yelled a few times too with no luck.

When I made it out to wake your dad I was having contractions two or three minutes apart. The doctors had told us to go to the hospital when they were five minutes apart. Dad helped me down the stairs of our condo and into the car then ran back in to grab our bags.

The hospital was about fifteen minutes away. We got there at nine am. Time was moving so slowly for me and the contractions were so painful. They felt like a really bad charlie horses in my abdomen, knowing the impending return of the pain made it worse too. Your dad and I tried to keep my humor up as we checked into the hospital. The nurse said that I was eight centimeters dilated and needed to get into a labor room immediately.

The rest of delivery was a bit of a blur for me (lucky for you, your dad recorded it.) I remember screaming lots and the doctor getting frustrated with me because I wasn't pushing right. I figured it out though. I pushed you out of me. You came out so fast there was no time for the small hole you were coming out of to stretch and allow your head through. I had to have an episiotomy, the doctor cut me. That, according to your dad, was the worst part. He hated seeing me go through that pain. It was painful.

I remember your dad trying to hold my hand several times too. I wouldn't let him. I was afraid of hurting him. Dad spread his fingers apart at one point and I tried to match my hand up with his... It helped a lot to get my mind off the pain. The nurses moved him over to my other side though and had him hold my leg while I pushed.

They had my legs pulled back toward my chest, I was laying on my back, they told me to stick my butt toward the ceiling and push. You came so fast there was no time for an epidural either. I'm so thankful your dad had them get me nitrous oxide, laughing gas, to calm me down. Your dad laughed at how quickly it calmed me too.

At ten thirty-nine am you were born. They placed you on my chest as soon as you came out. Umbilical cord still attached, a little bloody, and covered in vernix. My dirty baby. I was so happy to be able to kiss your head, I think that's all I did the first few minutes after meeting you. That's what I focused on while the doctor stitched up the cut too.

You were so little! At birth you were six pounds eleven ounces and eighteen and a half inches long. You we're born healthy and strong with all ten fingers and toes. Adorable! You were so alert, big bright eyes looking everywhere at everything. So much to see!

Dexter, I am so in love with you! You've become my whole world. Your dad and I were so excited for this day to come, to finally meet you, and now we're excited to watch you grow. To see who you become, to help you, to guide you, to teach you, to show you everything we can.

Welcome to life outside the womb little man.

Photos by Timothy Capp